one more cup of coughy

get well soon


the last time i remember getting sick was being slammed with a sinus infection on my girlfriend's sofa, lying there in an open-eyed catatonic sleep for days, vegetatively propped up in front of the television (until i was wrenched out of my stuper, with marty mcfly astonishment, after discovering on "access hollywood" that saddam hussein had been in captivity for four days now, while brad pitt was going to baghdad to lend his support to the troops).

aside from that episode, i usally don't remember getting sick. i remember almost getting sick, but somehow fighting it off at the last minute. this is probably because i remember very clearly the one time that i actually mastered the common cold overnite, through a combination of extreme blanketing, total stillness and the meditative practice of falling head-long into the feeling of discomfort rather than expending energy trying to avoid it. the idea was basically to free up any bit of energy i had and donate it to the just cause of the microscopic battle that my immune system was trying to wage.

and hand to god, it worked like a champ. i went bed with a sore throat and aching bones and chills and fever, pre-approved for a week of more of the same, and i woke up the next morning feeling tip-top a-ok number one. it was a pretty startling revelation, the idea that i could stop myself from getting sick simply by unleashing my awesome mental powers, and sweating a lot. what did my doctors know? with their "childhood asthma bla bla bla" and their "your tiny nostils make you more prone to infections"? i had found the second opinion i'd been looking for my whole life!

now in my third bout of the coughing head cold since january, it would seem that my wellness method, while tried and true, is not as easy to pull off as i was hoping. and as the sniffles once again go cat toy on my sinuses, i can also now clearly remember having watched "unbreakable" a couple of days before my little epiphany, which proabably gave me an inflated sense of super-poweredness.

it's not that i don't believe in the abilities of self healing, mind you. but clearly, with great power comes great disappointment.