the gift of rejection

remember this terrible idea?


the first mistake was making this bumper sticker for my ex-girlfriend's sister's boyfriend, as a christmas gift. the second mistake was sending it to the wrong address, where it no doubt elicited disgust and confusion before being sent back to the printing company from whence it came. the third mistake was giving the printing company the correct address after finding this out.

click the lovebirds for the miserably perfect ending...

you think you've got problems

tell me about it, dude.


there are serious things worth worrying about. and then there are what i imagine to be uniquely american problems. my brother calls them felicity problems. i've been up to my eyeballs in the latter these days, and for some reason, i can't shake them.

it's not that i'm at the end of my rope or anything. but it would be nice if there was a hotline for people who would rather be dead than in their current situation but who aren't really willing to kill themselves over anything. i mean, i know i'd call it every once in a while.

no holes barred

employee slam 2005!

if the north american ceo were a professional wrestler, that wrestler's name would be "the executive". his signature final deathblow move would be called "the layoff". and all oponents who entered into the ring with the executive would be powerless against it.


if the north american worker were a professional wrestler, that wrestler would be called "the worker bee". while not particularly smart, the worker bee's one special move would be knowing more useful things than middle management (a.k.a "the middle mangler"):


worker bees: a fighting chance


if i were a professional wrestler, i'd be known as "the struggler". i would probably show up in the ring wearing something like this:


no chance